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« The praise for infidelity » by Gemma Gaetani
A book which addresses the concept of adultery from a different perspective, and which claims that the only possible, and desirable form of fidelity, is infidelity!
The book, written by Italian author Gemma Gaetani, is satirical and visionary; giving praise to adultery and ‘Treason’. Treason, comes from the latin verb tradere, as the author explains in the book, the word means gather, transport and deliver. It is clear that the word ‘treason’ has lost its true sense, and has been attributed a different, and incorrect meaning.
Gemma Gaetani raises the question the couple, not for its value, but for its ‘non value’. The book traces the beginning of a revolution in language and customs. A difficult task, yet the author’s arguments are well structured, tried and tested, in a serious attempt to revolutionize the notion of the couple that is strongly ingrained in our culture. The notion, which, as the author points out, was induced and forced upon society by indoctrination, is not the natural prerogative of mankind, who by nature is not monogamous.
“Feelings are the life blood of men and women. What we experience when someone new comes into our lives is a positive shock to our souls, which have been sedated by a stable relationship.”
The author writes: “Very calm and luminous, very light and lyrical, like a ray of sunshine inside a house that penetrates through the glass window, subtly through the curtain fabric, unexpected, unforeseen, the other [person] , entering into your emotional and mental thoughts, exposing our desire for him. The consciousness of being in love is a wonderful and sweet epiphany [...]", all in complete compliance with the sole philosophy the author puts forward as true, she suggests that we all adhere to the mantra “The only person I will be faithful to is myself”.
This book, more than any other piece of writing, is centered on the loyalty due to a single person; oneself. Fidelity, in the sense of well being, comes before all else. The text may sound selfish and egocentric, however, Gemma Gaetani agrees that, yes, it is an egocentric text, in the sense that; "[...] when we discover these feelings, we realize that it is only we that can understand our own feelings. These are the feelings where we are both the person affected, and the bystander. Both the subject and the object. From the start, the first feelings are of wonder and enchantment. Hence, an egotistical motivation”.
The subtitle of the book “Conquer, deceive and deny” offers a forewarning to the advice and experiences, which the author suggests within the pages of the book, giving advice on useful techniques for those who cheat, and those who have been cheated on. A sort of vade mecum for adulterers, cuckolds and the chronically jealous. The author spares nothing; The subject is approached from all angles, including the economic impact and losses incurred by being adulterous. The author invites both couples and singles to adapt to modern times, we are starting to have flexibility in the workplace, so why not also in the couple, in love and in sex? And finally, the recommendation, which is intertwined through the whole text; confidentiality. Whoever cheats, must do so in a discrete and prudent manner. It is imperative to deny your actions, even when presented with evidence!
So, the question is, “Is cheating a part of our nature as men and women, or is being in a couple in our nature?” And must we follow what’s in our own nature?
If a situation makes us unhappy, we must do what it takes to make ourselves happy.
A celebration of Infidelity, “Conquers, deceives, denies,” is a good start for those who have always felt there had to be an alternative to monogamy, but could not put their feelings into words. Gemma Gaetani has opened the flood gates for others to follow.