What is it like to be “the other woman or man?”

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Posted on 01/07/2020, category: News

What is it like to be “the other woman or man?”

Have you ever wondered how is it really like to be the "other woman" or the "other man"?


Yeah, cheating can be the worst, and being the person who was cheated on clearly sucks. But, have you ever wondered how is it really like to be the "other woman" or the "other man".

Generally, the third person is considered nothing but a homewrecker. After all, she/he intrudes in an already existing relationship and causes pain, suffering, and in some cases breakups. However, being a third person can be harder than you may think. Because guess what, mistresses and lovers can have heartbreaks too! Now, of course adultery can have different shapes and forms. Sometimes, it can be simply a momentaneous distraction out of an unsteady relationship. Other times, it can involve emotions and become a long-term, yet clandestine relationship. And not surprisingly, when emotions come into play, everything becomes way too harder to handle, especially for the third party…

We don’t usually hear the perspective of the “other partner”. Besides love, romance, and passion, being with someone who’s married to someone else brings compromises and adjustments that may become hard to maintain. Especially in the longer-term. By looking at infidelity from the affair partner’s perspective, this blog points out a few facts about how it is really like to find oneself in the middle of a couple.

Lack of trust

A person who’s cheating on his “main” partner, is clearly not worthy of trust. After all, if he/she keeps lying to their spouse, why wouldn’t he do the same to the “other one”?

Fear to be dumped

Because the affair partner is not the main partner, it can happen that he/she lives the relationship with the fear of being dumped as soon as the couple will reconcile. Being the third party means sometimes to live the relationship with uncertainty and fear of abandonment.

Hope to become the main partner one day…

Of course, sometimes, married people leave their spouses, in the end, to live happily ever after their other partner. Most people who accept to be in between another relationship, with the man will leave their official partner in order to start a new and real relationship with them.


Like any type of relationships, affairs also have ups and downs and are based on commitment and compromises. Being the affair partner in a relationship can be more than what it seems and can imply more than clandestine dinners and secrecy. Whether good or bad, there is nothing wrong about considering different perspectives before judging someone for being involved in an affair.



Did you like this story? Read more on Gleeden’s blog!